Friday Flotsam

Friddledeedeeeeeeeee!

Weidner Christmas wrapping - 2016

I WITNESSED A BREAK-IN.

And it was the weirdest, I didn’t even know it’s what I was seeing. I mean, I watched a nice SUV drive up to my neighbor’s house, saw a dude get out and walk up to their front door, watched him sort of look around, and then . . . go in. The front door. No big. So I went about my business, thinking, “He must be a friend of theirs.” We live in a safe neighborhood, so there’s not really a reason for me to have been overly suspicious. (Read: my psychotic paranoia was taking a nap.)

Theeeen five minutes later three police vans drove up and I was like WAIT. DID I JUST SEE….noooo.

Did I?

There was a little bit of debris in the front yard. Okay, that’s weird.

Theeeeeeeeeeeen a few minutes later my neighbors drove up and slowly walked across their yard, meeting the policemen before they went in. I saw my friend point at my house, so I was like, “THAT’S MY CUE. OMG THIS IS MY MOMENT. I GET TO LEAVE A STATEMENT! Don’t screw this up, Bev.”

You’ll be so proud, I totally kept my cool and gave the police the best description I could, not saying anything like, “I watch these shows! I’ve been waiting for this my whole life! This is like HOME ALONE OMG. Wait, do you have a gold tooth? Let me see your teeth. SHOW ME YOUR MOUTH, SIR.”

All in all, everyone and everything is fine. Only an old T.V. was taken. My neighbors came over later that night, and once they joked about it, I knew it was okay to suggest Michael Jordan cutouts on a moving toy train set in the front window for next time.

That policeman never showed me his teeth, by the way. I have my eye on him.

water colors

I have some major beef with sippy cup inventors.

Why haven’t they thought about putting little weights in the bottom of each cup? Why?

Don’t they realize I spend half of my life picking up stupid tipped-over sippies on my pantry shelf? They’re all too flimsy! Too light! They need more weight in the bottom, so that when a speck of dust floats past them, they won’t tip over like drunk idiots, causing the domino effect of clumsy sippies all over my life. No.

That’s it. I’m inventing a new kind of sippy cup, with a weightier bottom (we’re still talking about sippy cups, right?), so that it reduces tipping and cursing and throwing sippy cups out a three-story window.

PATENT PENDING.

Yellow steps on a playground

Let’s say, hypothetically, that I have the opportunity to work with a t-shirt company in the foreseeable future, and make you a bunch of, ohhhhh I dunno, Gilmore Girls tees.

Super simple, a lot like the one I made, for all of you.

Let’s say, just thinking out loud, that this might be something I could wrangle.

WOULD YA BUY ONE? Would you even be interested? Would it get you giddy and silly and copper boom foamy at the mouth?

Just asking for hypothetical fun.

Maybe.

Twine

Why do you think it’s called a uniCorn, when it should be called a uniHorn?

There’s one horn on the horse’s forehead, not one corn. Unihorn. If I was holding a single ear of corn to my forehead, we could then refer to me as a unicorn.

These are the things I think about.

Also, say horses forehead five times fast.

Weidner Christmas Tree 2016

Weekend plans?

We’re getting SNOOOOOOOOOW tomorroooooooooow! They say 3-5 inches, so I’m doing all my meal planning today, and hitting the grocery store this afternoon, before we get stranded at home with endless fires and bottomless toddies. Not really on the toddies. I never drink toddies. I always think I’m going to get into toddies every winter, and then I’m like, nope. Too much work. Just open that bottle and stick a dirty funnel in my head.

Give me dinner ideas for next week. All I have so far is spaghetti and meatballs. Help me fill it!

Copper boom!

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16 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Sara @ Cake Over Steak December 16, 2016 at 7:28 am #

    Oy with the poodles already I would totally buy a Gilmore Girls t shirt from you!!

  2. Dana December 16, 2016 at 8:18 am #

    Your GG tee is perfection! My daughter and I need a new show…after GG we did Parenthood, Lost, Glee, and FNL twice and loved them all, GG and FNL the absolute most. Those shows are true love for us. Any good ones we’ve missed?? Dinner idea…how about a chicken soup? Cooked with the bones for an extra long time. It’s so good for everyone’s stomach and immune system and getting sick is my paranoia his time of year. Plus it just sets such a cozy mood in the house during a snowstorm. Last thing…your wrapping is beautiful. My vision for my packages didn’t happen this year…I could not find thin velvet ribbon. Can you believe it??? I was stunned.

  3. mountaincat December 16, 2016 at 8:19 am #

    How about good ol’-fashioned ham and beans, with cornbread?

  4. Jackie December 16, 2016 at 9:15 am #

    We’re getting 6-10 inches this weekend with below zero windchill, so we’re having baked ravioli w/salad, creamy crockpot chicken gnocchi soup, and tamale pie (the latter two are “pinch of yum” recipes). Later in the week we’re doing bulgogi with spicy cabbage, rice & homemade Rangoon, and turkey burgers w/ sweet potato fries. Pretty random right?

    • Heather December 16, 2016 at 11:45 am #

      Oh my gosh, that tamale pie recipe is amazing!!

  5. Pam December 16, 2016 at 9:54 am #

    I hear ya on the sippy cups, bane of my entire existence. We just switched to these:

    https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Graduates-Assorted-Colors-10-Ounce/dp/B00278WA4W?th=1

    Game. Changer.

    Also also also, make some chili for dinner with all that snow coming in!

  6. saundra m abel December 16, 2016 at 10:16 am #

    taco casserole, chicken and rice casserole, slow cooked beef short rips with potatoes……and peas………

  7. Erin December 16, 2016 at 10:45 am #

    Yes! Gilmore Girls tee! I would buy one ??

  8. Emily Webster December 16, 2016 at 10:45 am #

    Yes on GG tee! I love and support the one you made. Oy with the poodles already.

  9. Lisa December 16, 2016 at 11:11 am #

    We used the safe sippy. It’s got stainless steel innards, so it’s got some heft. They’re pricy but fairly indestructible. It looks like target carries them now.

  10. Heather December 16, 2016 at 11:31 am #

    I am so with you on sippy cups! I finally found some that don’t leak, aren’t a total pain to clean but boy they sure get thrown around.
    If you’re truly wonder about interest in GG shirt, I politely am not, but you do your GG thing 🙂
    Random question: do you still swish with coconut oil (oil pulling)? Trying to decide if it’s something to commit to.

  11. Meg December 16, 2016 at 11:46 am #

    Yessss on the Gilmore Girls tees!!!

  12. Kathi @ LaughingSpatula December 16, 2016 at 2:15 pm #

    Season 2, Episode 17! What took me so long to find GG! Love this show, my daughter is watching too and says it reminds us of us….huge compliment! p.s. If I were Lorelei I would take Rory out of Chilton and ditch my mom….jeesh, what a nag huh? Put me down for 2 tee’s!

  13. Joni December 16, 2016 at 3:17 pm #

    White chicken chili, beef or lamb stew [or boeuf bourguignon, if ya wanna be all fancy], macaroni & cheese, pot roast, chicken pot pie… or almost anything done in a crock pot: soups, stews, chili, all the usual suspects. Perfect weather for comfort food!

  14. angela December 16, 2016 at 3:24 pm #

    oh I would so buy more than 1 of those t-shirts!!! t-shirts for everyone I know!

  15. Nancy December 19, 2016 at 8:40 am #

    Be careful with those sippy cups. My sister-in-law noticed a cavity on The inside of her three-year-olds Front teeth. The dentist told her it was from sippy cups and the constant stream of sugar ( if the cup is filled with juice or some other sugary drink) that flows over their teeth when they drink from a sippy cups. Those days are over for me but it got my attention many moons ago when my son was a toddler. Keep up the good work and a shepherds pie is a nice comfort meal when it’s cold and snowy outside. ?

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