Friday Flotsam (and some insane news!)

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFruduh.

Friday Flotsam - spring blooms!

You guys, I was nakedly dangled in death’s poisonous, foaming open jaw this week.

Kind of.

We got home Sunday night after a long anniv/Easter weekend, and I was totally fine. Sleepy like normal, but fine. Woke up Monday morning, feeling pretty okay. A little stressed about my work load, but okay. Theeeeen, right around 9:30am the lethal tongue of the beast hit me in the face and I was like, done. Chills, sore joints, nauseous (not pregnant), aches all over, extreme exhaustion, mind-blowing fatigue. So, I got back in bed and tried to nap it off. Woke up, noooot even close to being better. Spent the entire day in complete misery, trying to unpack, wrangling twins, stressing on what that sour smell is coming from the fridge (milk? eggs? that withering red bell pepper from last week? I dunno I can’t even do this right now).

Aaron gets home and I take the hottest soak in the tub known to mankind. Get out, seriously almost faint. Go to bed at 6:30. Never wake up. Just kidding. I wake up at like 10:15 with the WORST pain in my back, so I have Aaron rub it out. Then per Aaron’s suggestion, I take NyQuil on an empty stomach (hadn’t eaten since 11am) and proceed to have theee worst heartburn ever in my entire life. But I didn’t knowww it was heartburn, you see. What I thought was heartburn during pregnancy was definitely not the same. That was a baby robin kissing my sternum compared to this. I thought I was dying of chest-explosion-of-the-bone-pain. It was so fun!

Next morning I zip to urgent care, and home dude looks at me and is all, “I think you have Mono.” And I like, slipped onto the other side. MONO? Who has time for MONO? I once knew a dude in high school who had Mono and he was out for seriously over six weeks. In BED for over six weeks. Hi, twins. Hi, work. Hi, life. Hi, house. NONO, MONO.

Blood work, yadda yadda. Back home and on the couch all day.

The end.

Friday Flotsam - Baby boy in grass

Just kidding!

So Wednesday I fiiiiinally start to feel a tad more normal. Still hadn’t heard from the doc, but with no sore throat, I’m certain it’s not Mono. It can’t be. Food bloggers with toddler twins getting their molars don’t get Mono. It’s impossible. Certifiably unfeasible.

Oh! And at the sameee time, a bunch of my Arkansas friends were texting me, “Do you have the stomach bug!?,” because we were all together on Saturday eating hummus (I didn’t eat the hummus). But you’ve heard of the whole Sabra hummus recall? Right, so like, nearly 10 people at the party all got the stomach bug right after so we thought it was all connected. It became this whole Seinfeld-esque thing like, “Did you eat the hummus?!” I didn’t eat the hummus. Brandy did you eat the hummus? You ate the hummus, oh my goshhhh.” “The hummus! I didn’t eat it! You didn’t eat it! She ate it! She ate the hummus! The hummuuuusss!”

Anyway.

Yesterday I woke up feeling 98% normal and I finally heard from the doc, “You don’t have Mono! And your white blood cell count is completely normal. It does show a something something that suggests it was viral. So you’re all good. Go drink wine.” Just kidding she didn’t say that.

I kicked Mono in the BALLS, y’all.

Wait, I never had Mono. Never mind.

Friday Flotsam - Eureka Springs in the spring

So in an attempt to be not such a scaredy cat mom (hahaha! right), I’m trying to get over my fear of bugs. I’m also completely switching gears here.

If you know me personally, you’re all too familiar with my crippling phobia of all things insectual. I know exactly where this fear stems from, but I’m not going to divulge this because you’ll either a) laugh in my face or b) have nightmares for life. And I can’t risk either of the two. Not today.

With all the spring weather, the rain, the doors and windows open all the time, we’re seeing a small rise in roaches ’round our place. And not even the big ones, just the small baby roaches. Still though, freaking nasty. I’m almost gagging just typing out the word r o a c h.

So the other night, Aaron was cooking and I was standing in the kitchen on my deathbed (see above), when I spot a tiny roach walking across the floor. Oh gawd. Here it is. This is the moment. I’m responsible for saving our entire family’s lives right now. He’s busy cooking and can’t smash it to hell and back. It’s up to me this time. I have to be Mighty Bev Mouse. But first I need a barf bag and a beach towel for all the tears I’m going to shed.

I’m too weak to grab a shovel and a gas mask, so I reach for a paper towel and some of my DIY cleaner (hahaha, like that’ll do anything) and I quickly lean down, spray that sumbia, and grab it with the paper towel.

Annnnnd it crunched in my fingers. Like, popped. Its shell or back or whatever you call it effing crackled in my hands. And then I proceeded to scream (Aaron loved that), start crying (babies loved that) and spiral further and further into my phobia with no end in sight.

E for effort?

Friday Flotsam

I know this post is obnoxiously loaded, but I have more one thing to share with you before we go. It’s worth it!

About a month ago, The Dr. Oz Show (as in, the real freaking show) contacted me about making a quick video on how to make a No-Bread Sandwich. They said they’d feature the video and a clip from my blog promotional video on the show. Ummmm let me think about iYES. That weekend we scrambled and put together a pretty cute video, right in my kitchen, featuring an eggplant sandwich with steak and onions and all this jazz. It’s really fun. They loved it! And it airs next week! April 16th, to be exact.

They have this British producer that called me to set everything up and he was all, “Bev love….” And I went deaf after that. Just kept saying, “sure, whatever you want. eggplant, got it. chipper personality, done. will you read the phone book please? my electric bill? slowly?”

So anyway, I’m SUPER excited about it. This is the THING though. They told me, “Everything in TV is tentative.” You never know if there will be breaking news, bad weather, what have you. It’s all taped and on the show, so I feel like it will certainly air. But if for some weird reason it doesn’t we can just be all, “Hahaha wasn’t that cute when Bev thought she’d be on The Dr. Oz Show? So adorable. Someone get her a puppy.”

I’ll be sure and remind you next week to tune in! Thursday, April 16th. Watch for a hyper freak with lonnnng hair and cilantro hanging out of her mouth.

Friday Flotsam - Flowers!

I don’t have anything else to say here because THE DR. OZ SHOW. (!!!!)

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32 Responses to Friday Flotsam (and some insane news!)

  1. Sharana @ Living The Sweet Life Blog April 10, 2015 at 9:06 am #
    I'm so glad you're over your mono/non-mono ... and yes, Mono definitely makes me think of high school!! Also, roaches ... ewww. ewww. ewww. Annnnnnd Dr. OZ!! CONGRATULATIONS ... that's pretty amazing!
  2. Liz @ The Lemon Bowl April 10, 2015 at 9:08 am #
    What what!! The cilantro sprig is finally getting its big debut!! Congrats friend!
  3. Erin @ Lemon Sugar April 10, 2015 at 9:08 am #
    That post was amazing. :) I snorted! And congrats on Dr. Phil! He makes food on his show now?
  4. Ashley April 10, 2015 at 9:12 am #
    I'm feeling TOO many emotions for ONE post!!!!!!! But I love it. Mono - Hummus!!!! - r o a c h - OZ!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooooooooooot!
  5. Shaina April 10, 2015 at 9:31 am #
    Insectual. I laughed so hard. Also, I am the same way with accents. I keep telling Ole we could move somewhere where he can pick up an accent for me. I mean, sacrifices for love and all, right? Congratulations, Bev! I can't wait to see the video. I'm sure it's perfection.
  6. MIss @ Miss in the Kitchen April 10, 2015 at 9:37 am #
    Cool Cool Cool! The Dr. Oz thing, roaches not so much. Hope you are feeling better, glad it wasn't mono. One of my kids has had mono twice, it's horrible! Calling my mom, she will be thrilled to see you on Dr. Oz!
  7. Shawn @ I Wash You Dry April 10, 2015 at 9:40 am #
    What a crazy week! Glad you survived the MONO scareā€¦ ha! How exciting about the Dr. Oz show!! I will totally tune in for that! :) Congrats!
  8. Simone April 10, 2015 at 9:55 am #
    I cannot for the life of me kill bugs. I can't do it. I hate the crunch. I hate the crawling. If it is a stinkbug I let it crawl on a Kleenex and free it outside, because they don't scare me. Most of the time I actually name them and let them hangout. But spiders. Oh man. Scream. Scream. Scream. The long bugs with ALL OF THE legs in the world, scream, point. If I am alone and MUST kill them it usually involves my dog looking on curiously with me and five shoes and a book throwing things on the wall/floor. Or sending my husband a series of texts telling him what said bug is doing and where in the house it is. And my night is gone, watching bugs I don't want to come close to me.
  9. Megan {Country Cleaver} April 10, 2015 at 10:05 am #
    I'm so glad you made a miraculous recovery from your mystery diseases - boo mystery germs! And insert-Jesse-Spano-I'm-So-Excited-Face about you appearing on the Oz!! Eeek!! Congrats, Beverly love ;) said in my best British accent.
  10. Rachel Cooks April 10, 2015 at 10:09 am #
    DUDE. That's exciting news! Can't wait to see your cute face on Dr. Oz. Hopefully you'll get a link to a clip because I always get excited when my food blogger friends are on TV and then I always forget to DVR or watch, because, toddlers. Worst food blog friend ever, I know. Anyways, I'm glad you lived to see this exciting day!
  11. Cindy Martin April 10, 2015 at 10:12 am #
    WOWZA what a week! Super congrats on Dr. Oz gig and kicking what wasn't mono!
  12. Heather April 10, 2015 at 10:12 am #
    Yay, you're all better and back!! I am the same way with insects. Well, I'm not afraid of them, but I can't kill them because that cracking sound grosses me out big time!
  13. Nicole ~ Cooking for Keeps April 10, 2015 at 10:23 am #
    VERY cool, the dr. oz part, not the mono part or the feeling like death. I'll be sure to tune in!
  14. Kathi @ LaughingSpatula April 10, 2015 at 10:26 am #
    You make my Friday mornings start out with a laugh! Looking forward to seeing your sammies on the Oz show...sometimes I pretend he is my dad :)
  15. Joyce April 10, 2015 at 10:35 am #
    Sometimes I don't even care if you can cook....even though I loooove what you cook. You could just tell stories every day like the one above....and even though it is a dreary, rainy day today, YOU are a blast of blazing sunshine that fills so many of our worlds and chases away the demon gloom! Kudos mono-free, germ-free, bug-free grrrrllllll.
  16. Dee @ The Kitchen Snob April 10, 2015 at 11:22 am #
    OMG your posts always cheer me up. That's sad - you had a brush with death and that entertained me. ;-) You just make me laugh. And yay for Dr. Oz!
  17. kim (Sims)bell April 10, 2015 at 12:26 pm #
    So excited for you!!! I will be dvr-ing that fo sho!!!
  18. Kate April 10, 2015 at 12:31 pm #
    Ahhhhh so awesome, Bev!!!
  19. janelle April 10, 2015 at 12:37 pm #
    love it all. that is really all i have to say! :) Congrats on Dr. Oz and no mono.
  20. Jennifer Schumann April 10, 2015 at 4:42 pm #
    I love your writing Bev! You make me laugh & I love your creativity & sharing of foodie deliciousness. Congrats on the OZ news! How fantastic!!!!!
  21. Erin April 10, 2015 at 4:42 pm #
    wonderful wonderful wonderful YOU!!!
  22. Heather Christo April 10, 2015 at 5:07 pm #
    I'm DYING for you Bev!! So excited and I am setting an alert on my phone RIGHT NOW for that show.
  23. Jacki April 10, 2015 at 10:11 pm #
    OMG! Dr. Oz! Incredible!! I will have to DVR the show so I can check it out! Also, you have NO idea how glad I am to hear that there is someone else out there in the world besides me with a phobia of the entire insect kingdom. I threw up a little in my mouth just reading that you crunched a tiny roach in your hand. I would have lit the house on fire to get rid of the roach (which I've considered doing to get rid of the camel crickets in my basement -- HAVE YOU SEEN THEM??????) before picking one up in a tissue. Nothankyouandgoodday. You're much braver than me. Love love love your blog, and especially your Friday posts. Have a great weekend!
  24. SunnyBou April 11, 2015 at 1:04 am #
    Marking my calendar - setting my DVR - APRIIIILLLLLL 16!!!!!
  25. Kristen@accidentallydomesticated April 11, 2015 at 7:22 pm #
    Congrats on the Dr. Oz show! I can't wait to see how hilariously awkward you are, and I mean that in the absolute best way!
  26. AmyRuth April 11, 2015 at 11:04 pm #
    What kind of puppy, love...........?
  27. Suzie Durigon April 12, 2015 at 9:25 am #
    YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! The only blog I NEVER stop reading until I get right to the end! Congrats on Oz...so awesome!!
  28. The Healthy Apple April 12, 2015 at 10:11 am #
    Wow what a crazy week! Congrats on Dr. Oz - that's fabulous!!
  29. Katie April 13, 2015 at 8:58 am #
    Ahh, so freaking cool! Not the mono-scare, the TV thing. I actually just had an adult friend with mono...yeah, six weeks. Of course he still had to go to work and support his family and what not, he just suffered through for 6 weeks. Can you imagine?? Whew, glad you escaped that one.
  30. CICELY April 24, 2015 at 1:20 pm #
    I live in South Africa. Yes, Africa of the lions, leopards, elephants etc. Huge animals with big teeth. The good thing is that they are mostly contained in game parks. I visit Sydney, Australia often because that is where my father and siblings live. Taking your fear of bugs into account, nevah, evah go there if that fear includes arachnids. In the mornings when my father wants to walk across the bridge over his koi pond he has to wave a stick like a blind man in front of him because those monster spiders take over the world at night. Webs everywhere! If it weren't for the screens over his windows I don't think I would sleep a wink. When my sister first moved there and I visited her for the first time in her new home what did she have on her study wall? A ginormous poster with a picture of every spider in that area that was ready to bite and kill. So be warned. If Australia is on your travel horizon I would revise that plan :)
    • Bev Weidner April 24, 2015 at 1:39 pm #
      OH MY GOSH, you don't know how many times I've said in my lifetime, "I'll never go to Australia. Why do people live in Australia? NEVER think about going to Australia. Note to self: erase Australia from your mind." Minus Curtis Stone, natch.

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