Thoughts on This Whole Motherhood Business: Year One

I feel like it was just yesterday.

Well, it was. Yesterday plus 365 days. So I guess it’s yesteryear. Well, yesteryear plus a day. You’re already annoyed.

Mama and Babies

This is probably one of my most favorite photos of all time. I can still remember the exact emotions that were flooding my nucleus innards. Of course the obvious, unbelievable happiness. Sheer elation. Utter joy. And then, omg they’re so tiny what if I step on them! And then, am I ready for this? And then, of course I’m not. And then, of course I am! And then, finally.

Today I want to share with you what it’s really been like for me this past year. I get a TON of emails asking me questions about things that I normally wouldn’t offer up here, just because the topics lean toward the weighty side, and, um, you know me. So! Let’s do it today. I’ll tell all! And I swear, if it gets too serious, let me know, and I’ll throw in a quick “toot,” “boob,” or “poop.” We coo?

Will and Natalie

Those First Few Weeks: Hoooooooly crap. They were hard, dudes. Really, really hard. I’m going to be Missé Cliché for a second, but you barely sleep, you barely shower, you hurt, you’re confused, you’re tired, you’re not caught up on Parenthood and are in a serious cranktankerous mood.

For me specifically, I remember feeling numb. I was one week in, sorting my way through each day, a little aimlessly to be honest, trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I felt like I was a giant boombalatty pendulum, swinging back and forth, hour to hour, giddy. Wait no, a little blue. Wait, a lot blue. Hold on, now I feel nothing. Why don’t I feel anything? I wouldn’t call it postpartum depression. Just . . . numb. Coasting. Zoned out.

I didn’t take anything for it. I’m sort of hippy in the way that I medicate with healthy foods. (and wine, I mean riiiiiight.) This is not to sell short the magic of pain meds for the C-section. Holla.back.thoseweregood.

Anyway, the numbness lasted about two weeks, and then right about one month, the new mother hen giddiness began to settle in. And I was back to my annoying, super zealous self. Only with babies! This is a lethal combo, as I’m sure you can imagine.

I also remember quickly discovering that posting daily photos of the babies on Instagram was a positive outlet for me. My little escape in a way. It’s too bad they never played along in the fun.

Will and Natalie

Breastfeeding: Okay, there’s a lot of debate on this one. But, this is what I think.

It doesn’t matter. At all. Breastfeeding is wonderful! If you can do it. Could I? No. I tried. I tried really hard for four grueling hours. I’m just kidding! Weeks, and it was absolute hell. I was pumping around the clock, (also trying to feed them around the clock), barely able to know my boob from my face. I wanted to DIE.

Two things.

One: Of course I had high hopes of this magical bonding with the babies, but that just didn’t happen for me. Will was never interested in it, and Natalie would be at first, then she’d get bored. I took offense. It hurt me, ya know!

Two: I wasn’t making enough. How do you know how much milk you’re producing if you don’t have glass boobs?! (dudes be like, how do I x out? HOW DO I X OUT?)

I remember feeling like I would be giving up if I switched to straight formula. Like I didn’t care enough for them. But then my incredibly wise sister-in-law said five magical words to me that I’ll never forget. “Bev, block out the voices.” Four words if you don’t count my name. Actually, it might have been, “You’ve got to block out the voices,” which would be seven words. Eight if you count my name. Anyway. It clicked. And I switched to formula that very day. And I never looked back.

To me, a happy mama makes happy babies. No matter how you choose to feed or nurture them. If you do what’s right for YOUR body, your baby will pick up on that, benefit and even thrive. I read a quote a long time ago during my struggle that really stuck. It went something like, “Some women breastfeed well into toddlerhood. Some women don’t breastfeed at all. Both are right.” Can we get some what whats, already?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Speaking of sticky, remember how sticky colostrum was? That stuff was weird! Okay I’m done.

Will and Natalie

Nothing Will Ever Be Clean Again. Including Your Kid: I’m completely aware that this is going to sound like a total whine fest, because it is. But this has seriously been a tough adjustment for me. Before babies, my house be cleaaaan. Everything in its place. Swept, dusted, fresh flowers, and pretty darn lovely. Then I had babies. WAAAAH.

And you know, it’s not really so much the baby having dog hair on their lips (seriously), or plant dirt in their hair (for real), or fresh barf webbed between their fingers (I can’t). It’s more, just, the daily clutter. And we don’t even have that much ish! The good news is, I’m learning to let it go. I’m learning how to embrace the dirty highchairs, the little milk spills here and there, crushed Cheerios on the floors, and random wooden toys strewn down the hallway. It says life. Family. Chaos. Fun.

But like, listen, nothing will ever be clean again until they leave for college.

Until they leave.for.college.

Can you imagine what a tragically sad day that will be?

Natalie and Will

The Juggling Act: This is by far what I’m asked about the most. How do I do it with two babies? (still trying to figure that out) How am I not insane? (oh, I am) How do I manage to take care of them, run a blog, stay on top of freelance work, and keep a house in semi-running order. (No clue, man.)

But! I can say this, as a full believer in the phrase, “early to bed and early to rise…” I can confess that I’m usually up before the 6am coo coo, churn churn churning it up during the day like a machine, and snuggled in bed by 8:30pm. Yeah, like eight thirty in the evening. BEFORE PARENTHOOD COMES ON. #twins

Beyond the big picture, juggling two babies with the same needs at the same time can be tricky. Even trickier when they have different needs at the same time. Or same needs at different times. Or different needs at different times. Wait I’m confused.

I have no tricks. No magic voodoo spells that I cast on them (unless you count my whistling rendition of Smooth Operator.) No wizard wands. The irony of it all is, I’m actually a pretty chill mom. As a person? A complete spazzo. Hyperactive hippo. Loo loo town crown. But when it comes to Will and Natalie, I surprisingly even out a bit and take it as it comes. They’re really great, chill babies, though.

Wait! I lied. I do have one trick. One huge, huge trick. (and no, it isn’t wine, thank you very much.)

Natalie and Will in playground prison

Our Sanity-Saving Trick:  Read Baby Wise. Fooooor real, if you’re about to have a gremlin, read it. It’s all about putting your baby(ies) on a schedule from the get-go, setting their metabolic memory and sleep patterns. I know (and respect!) that some people aren’t really into letting a book dictate how they raise their child. I totally, totally get that. It’s not for everyone. But I’m such a schedule-oriented freak, that this route just made sense for our little clan. Especially with two. No way were we going to have them all wonky-doo on different schedules. That gives me gas just thinking about it. So we started them on a schedule the day we got home from the hospital, and within a week they’d fallen into the routine almost flawlessly.

Will you punch me in the face if I tell you they were sleeping through the night at week 12? Uh huh.

Oh wait I have another trick! O. . . okay it’s wine.

Natalie and Will

Ugh: Motherhood. It’s just so darn wonderful. It’s messy, it’s stinky, it smells like fresh laundry, it’s soft, it’s hard, it’s snuggly, it’s teary, it’s glorious, it’s gross, it’s heart swelling, it’s heartbreaking, it’s incredible, it’s . . . it’s worth everything. Every last milk spill, every last rogue Cheerio, every last toy on the floor.

Because with all of that you get the sweetest, happiest giggles. You watch tiny delicate lips whisper “mama” right into your eyes. You look into their delicious little faces and you see such adorable, cheerful innocence looking back at you. You touch their little arm rolls, their itty bitty toes, their soft hair, and the other soft mullet, and you just love them. You love them so completely and so deeply it almost kills you. Because they’re yours. You’re their mom. Their mama. Their mommy. Their mother.

Whoaaa, that got pretty serious there. Toot! Boob! Poop!

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79 Responses to Thoughts on This Whole Motherhood Business: Year One

  1. Meagan @ A Zesty Bite January 7, 2015 at 10:00 pm #
    I still can't believe that they are ONE. I lived off of Baby Wise and my little one was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. hallelujah There is a lot of respect now for single parents, parents of multiples and just parents with kids. ;)
    • Bev Weidner January 8, 2015 at 6:16 am #
      Six weeks! OMG. You win. (high five!)
  2. Katie January 7, 2015 at 10:09 pm #
    Goood gracious. I love you in large amounts. (and my SERIOUS new years resolution was to let my house be messier. Really, really. I've gotta let it go, dude.) Give those sweet babies a hundred squeezes for me!!
  3. Angela January 8, 2015 at 12:23 am #
    Awesome. All of it, you, your babies, this post.
  4. Jess January 8, 2015 at 1:24 am #
    Totally lovely Bev. Your sense of humor about the whole wild ride has been so great for me to read in this first year of twin mom-hood. Ugh - and the barf between the baby fingers thing...what is UP with that?
  5. lisatberry January 8, 2015 at 5:02 am #
    Best post ever!!!...I adore your babies and seeing pictures of them regularly and how they change is awesome...what an honest post on motherhood and it's challenges those babies are lucky to have such cool parents.
  6. Mary @ The Kitchen Paper January 8, 2015 at 5:41 am #
    LOVE this post, Bev! They're two lucky babes — and you're a lucky mama! Thanks for sharing this with us :) xo
  7. MB @ Bourbon and Brown Sugar January 8, 2015 at 7:00 am #
    What a gorgeous post, Bev! I had three kids in five years, so my life was messy-crazy-wonderful, but remain in awe of anyone who navigates twins :) You are clearly a remarkable mom, with your priorities in order. Enjoy the ride - they grow up fast. Two of mine have launched off to college (no more excuses for a messy house :) I wish I had discovered blogging earlier in the journey - it would have been such a neat way to chronicle the journey. Best!
  8. Lauren at Keep It Sweet January 8, 2015 at 7:09 am #
    This post... just love. And those two are so darn cute I can't stand it.
  9. Andrea January 8, 2015 at 8:31 am #
    Babywise!!! Freaking Yes!!!! As a mom of 3, I "Babywised" all of them. They were all sleeping through the night by week 12 and one of them by 6 weeks! I'm pretty sure it all worked out because the oldest of those 3 just drove out of my driveway at 6 am today is headed 14 hours away for his 2nd semester of college. And, yes, it hurts every bit as much as you think but in a bittersweet way. Enjoy every 2nd, Bev (hope it's ok to call you that) because it really does fly by - cliche or not. Oh, and they still leave a mess even once they leave for college! How hard is it to flush the toilet?!
  10. Suzie Durigon January 8, 2015 at 8:38 am #
    My 3 kiddies are almost all in their 20's and you just made me cry! If I could go back just for a minute and smell them - you know, that luscious baby smell - ughhh, I would give my right arm (okay, maybe just my baby finger!). Enjoy every single second. As I'm sure you've been told a gazillion times, it goes by in a heartbeat and then they are big people. And, then you have to live vicariously through people like you...thank God for you!
  11. Panna January 8, 2015 at 8:51 am #
    that first photo says it all. I love this post. I love your honesty. about the breastmilk part: my mom was sick and she wasn't allowed to breastfeed me, I never got an ounce of breastmilk, only formula, and I've hardly ever been sick as a child or as an adult. (and we're talking about formulas in the seventies, they were not as advanced as the ones available today)
  12. Sues January 8, 2015 at 8:53 am #
    Basically crying right now! My sister has 7-month twins and pretty sure EVERYTHING in this post resonates :) Your babies are SUCH cuties!!!
  13. Ashley January 8, 2015 at 8:55 am #
    I love everything about this post!!!!!
  14. Mandi January 8, 2015 at 9:08 am #
    I'm closing out my first trimester now and am rushing out to buy that book. Thank you!
    • Laura January 8, 2015 at 9:56 pm #
      Just do your research. There is a lot of controversy surrounding Baby Wise as research does not support the techniques put forth in the book. The American Academy of Pediatrics actually warns against this book.
      • Bev Weidner January 12, 2015 at 7:18 am #
        Oh, totally! Everyone has to figure out a route that's best for them. If BW doesn't seem like a good fit, no bigs. It's just what worked for us, so I had to share it. :)
  15. Bri January 8, 2015 at 9:11 am #
    Love this post Bev! I cannot believe they're one already! Thank you for providing us with baby pictures. You've really done a great job balancing everything so far! I'm so impressed!
  16. Leslie January 8, 2015 at 9:26 am #
    Tears, tears, tears. Mine is six months old next week and I am so sad seeing her get bigger. As my husband says, though, think how bad it would be if they never grew or changed. I have to keep telling myself that! We used Moms on Call with our little girl and it has been great. Similar to Babywise, but with some small differences. A schedule definitely gave me freedom to do some things and kept her much happier!
  17. Ashley | Spoonful of Flavor January 8, 2015 at 9:30 am #
    LOVE this post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the beautiful pictures of your sweet babies. Your posts on Instagram always make me smile!
  18. Liz @ The Lemon Bowl January 8, 2015 at 9:32 am #
    Coast to coast LA to Chicago....
  19. Deborah January 8, 2015 at 9:35 am #
    You just made me laugh and cry at the same time. This motherhood thing is not for the weary, that's for sure. But you are right. Every second is worth it.
  20. Eloise January 8, 2015 at 9:50 am #
    I wish I had read this when I had my first baby nearly 22 years ago. But, what's done is done. :-) And the best thing someone told me is: no matter what we do, they grow up. Period.
  21. Kathi @ LaughingSpatula January 8, 2015 at 9:58 am #
    You make me laugh! I love, love your writing and if I could just have an ounce of your talent I'd be one happy lady! Your babies are beautiful...no really, they look digital! Love it up...it goes by way too fast. Mine turns 25 today...what? That makes me 38 right? Best to you! Kathi
  22. Jenny January 8, 2015 at 10:00 am #
    Beautiful, touching, honest, endearing, truthful, painful, worrisome, crazy, I want to pull my hair out, how did I get so blessed to have such beautiful kids/kids.....that's what Motherhood is all about and then some. Never ending. Everything you've dreamt about and more. Beautiful post and keep holding on for an even better ride as they get older. Your heart is always full. PS. The one photo of Will and Nat on the playset is my absolute favorite! And the one of them as young babies with Will crying, gosh just pulls at your heartstrings!!!
  23. Andrea @ Recipes For Divine Living January 8, 2015 at 10:18 am #
    I have so enjoyed watching your twins grow up. They are adorable. It's awesome they were sleeping through the night at 12 weeks. My first 2 kids did at about that or shorter. My 3rd........I was up every night for over 2 years. I kid you not! Personally, I would have nipped that in the bud way way sooner ( I talking 3-4 months in) but my hubby couldn't stand to hear him cry.
  24. Jenn @ Peas and Crayons January 8, 2015 at 10:29 am #
    12 weeks eh? Oh I totally want to punch you in the face =) You deserve that sort of luck with two! Kiddie karma and whatnot. Mine rarely slept for the first bajillion months [or 7. seven months] but now that I'm able to do the whole zzzz thing, I can happily say that I get it. I'm snuggled in bed shortly after the chickpea is and up at buttcrack to start hustling on work and drinking all the coffee. I always wondered why every mom stressed why they wouldn't trade this for the world. I get it; they rock. Even when you find a random spot on your foot and wonder... "Is that chocolate or poop!? chocolate or poop!!!!? dear god I don't want to know!!!!" #stillworthit
  25. Stephanie @ Girl Versus Dough January 8, 2015 at 10:35 am #
    I want to hug this post I love it so much. I can so relate on many levels (especially the cleanliness thing -- I sniffle (but also, kinda smile) whenever I see my once pristine, glassy wood floors now smudged with spit-up and mashed avocado). You are incredible, and I am in complete awe/admiration of how you juggle it all with such class and calmness. For the real. And those bebes are just perfection.
  26. Smith Bites January 8, 2015 at 10:59 am #
    the. best. mom. post. ever. Bev, i'm so genuinely in love w/you, the babies, the boobs . . . wait, that didn't sound right . . . i mean ALL the stuff you share, including toots, poop and boobs; it's real, it's honest, it's life. i stalk, strike that . . . i CHECK your instagram feed daily because i cannot wait to see the babies, how they've grown, what they're mastering at the moment and the funny caption you'll create. happy birthday to all of you - it's been incredibly fun to follow along from the sidelines! (((hugs)))
  27. Alaina {Fabtastic Eats} January 8, 2015 at 11:08 am #
    I love this post. motherhood is hard, but soooo wonderful. and the good definitely outweighs any bad. and the cleanliness...I have a three year old and Im still working on accepting that. & by accepting it, I mean organizing they're playroom at least once a month and getting rid of things. whatever works. and happy moms means happy babies, you are so spot on there! love this
  28. sara forte January 8, 2015 at 11:23 am #
    WHY can't we be real life friends?!?! I love this! I'm sending it to all the moms I know. Or actually just posting it on facebook to save time. Love all these words and a what what to doing what is right for you. The voices are loud, that's for sure. I've only started to quiet them 7 months later and feel so much more sane. Big love to your beautiful family, bev and happy bday babies!!!
    • Bev Weidner January 8, 2015 at 1:13 pm #
      Saraaaaa! I'd give anything to be real life frans with you! xoxoxo.
  29. Kasey January 8, 2015 at 11:49 am #
    This is wonderful, Bev! We need more women like you out there, speaking their truth. I struggled SO MUCH with breastfeeding. Like you, I tried so hard. For weeks. I was also pumping around the clock and so little was coming. I was in constant pain. I, too, wanted to die. And this is what I have learned: it doesn't matter!! Being a happy mama is more important that milk. So much love for you. Your babies are gorgeous, you're gorgeous, and motherhood has added a wonderful new dimension to your blog. x
  30. Michelle @ Healthy Recipe Ecstasy January 8, 2015 at 11:49 am #
    Love this post! I can't believe how big your little ones have gotten - and more adorable every day. I really hope I can tackle motherhood with the same witty, positive attitude you've taken. I am fully prepared for the horror of the first couple weeks although I've managed to convince myself that it can't possibly be as bad as the horrors of third trimester + a full time job + my blog + getting ready for baby + buying a new car for baby. Riiiiighttttttt???? :) :)
  31. Lisa Kirk January 8, 2015 at 12:11 pm #
    Love this, Bev! Enjoy toddlerhood!
  32. Joni January 8, 2015 at 12:14 pm #
    Love this so much. Especially the part about breastfeeding. I fought that battle for ten months and should have given up much earlier. Too many voices= confusion and convoluted priorities. Haters gonna hate. Happy babies don't care. *fist bump.*
  33. Katie A. January 8, 2015 at 12:52 pm #
    I loved reading this so much. My sweet little girl turned one yesterday, and I've been the biggest sappy ball of love all week. I just can't believe how lucky I am that I get to be this amazing little human's mom. Also, the part about the first couple weeks...yesss! I felt the same way...then I felt guilty for feeling that way...so thank you for telling me I'm not alone. Finally, I was in tears at paragraph 2: "Of course the obvious, unbelievable happiness. Sheer elation. Utter joy. And then, omg they’re so tiny what if I step on them! And then, am I ready for this? And then, of course I’m not. And then, of course I am! And then, finally."
  34. Sarah Jane Jennings January 8, 2015 at 12:52 pm #
    I loved reading this post! I have two sets of twins...three year old boys and 9 month old babies, so I can completely relate to all that you said!!! Love your blog and love your recipes! You're amazing for being able to balance being a mom and all your cooking!!! It is my dream to do both!
  35. Julie January 8, 2015 at 12:55 pm #
    Loved.this.post. You are awesome and your babies are the luckiest kids on the block!!
  36. Amanda January 8, 2015 at 1:02 pm #
    I don't have kids but your posts about the twins and your instagram pictures of them totally make my day. They are the cutest and you make it seem so fun when I see so many parents make it seem like this huge THING that's hell on earth. I know it's probably intense and hard some days but reading a post like this makes me think it's also a great addition to your life. Happy belated birthday to Will and Nat!
  37. Heather || Heather's Dish January 8, 2015 at 1:04 pm #
    Ugh, Bev, my hormonalness (it's a word) can't even handle this right now. I'm so proud of you, all of you, and I loooooooooved getting to hear a little more of your sweet heart! Big what whats to the breastfeeding thing - even when you can do it it's hard as heck. Doing what's right for your family is the best choice! And that first picture? I sobbed when I saw it the first time, sobbed today, and probably will every time for.e.ver.
  38. Ashley January 8, 2015 at 1:14 pm #
    You are so funny! I love, LOVE all your parenting post. You don't take yourself to seriously which is refreshing! Trying to breastfeed my first was a nightmare! I remember my mom gave me great words of wisdom one day while I was cring my eyes out because he would not latch on. She told me "he is yours to mess up. If you want to give him a bottle, give him a bottle." Gave him a bottle and BAM! Happy mommy equals happy baby! Congrats on making it the first year! P.S. I swear everyday my house looks like we got robbed. Embrace it, no one cares anyways!
  39. Rachel Cooks January 8, 2015 at 1:43 pm #
    Love this, Bev! Love, love, love. And I also swear by Baby Wise.
  40. Natalie @ Never Serious Blog January 8, 2015 at 2:57 pm #
    ALRIGHT WELL NOW I'M CRYING. Thanks a lot. Thanks.a.lot.
  41. Heather January 8, 2015 at 3:00 pm #
    This!!! Your experiences the first month & with breast feeding are identical to mine. Thank you for your honesty. I hate how social media can make it seem like all everything is just dandy for everyone. Motherhood is hard yet so so so wonderful!!
  42. jessica January 8, 2015 at 3:38 pm #
    when I have children, you shall be my spirit guide.
  43. Amy @Very Culinary January 8, 2015 at 5:55 pm #
    I squishy heart all of this. Baby Wise was my bible. And my kids (now 8&6) are the best sleepers ever. Also? Bottle fed both of them...and they're super healthy, happy, awesome, annoying children like all the rest.
  44. Paula Jo January 8, 2015 at 8:50 pm #
    AMEN. From the mom of twin boy and girl nine-year-olds, you nailed our first year. Formula, Dr. Brown bottles, schedule, deep sleep deprivation and overwhelming joy. Every day. And can I encourage you that I enjoy them as much today!
  45. Lindsay January 8, 2015 at 9:08 pm #
    Oh my God, I want to hug you right now. My b/g twins will be a year old next week (whoa). I started following your blog when they were around 4 months or so. This is EXACTLY what being a twin mom of littles is like, especially in the beginning. I also tried to breast feed but just. couldn't. do it. Thank you for sharing and reminding me of those first few precious (and often miserable) first couple of months!
  46. Amanda the great January 9, 2015 at 1:05 pm #
    Dude, you really are my idol. I too was not able to breastfeed cause I had a ginormous baby that ate a shit ton. I felt AWFUL when he had to go on formula since I'd had so many mean moms tell me I wasn't trying hard enough. I've enjoyed watching your little ones grow, you truly are high-larious and I wish we were real life friends. PS-I'm in Nashville, come!
  47. Courtney @ Neighborfood January 9, 2015 at 5:18 pm #
    This made me laugh and then cry and then my insides felt all goopy--babies, man. This makes me so excited for motherhood. THANK YOU for saying what you did about breastfeeding. I've watched several friends struggle with this and I hated the judgment and guilt they faced. Happy momma = happy baby. So true, and such a good reminder.
  48. Kelly Jeanne January 10, 2015 at 8:59 am #
    I just want to say thank you for sharing your experience with breast-feeding. I just had my little guy in October, and I had a hellish experience trying to make breast-feeding work. I pumped. I tried to get him to latch. I met with a lactation consultant. I wept. I felt like a failure. For whatever reason, I just didn't produce enough milk. Giving in to bottles was such a relief, but it was also difficult to accept. I am still struggling with my feelings about the whole process, though in my mind I know my choice was the right one. I am so glad when women share their honest experiences with breast-feeding. It's not all romantic, easy, hell, not even possible sometimes. So, thanks. This post means a lot. It's such a comfort when we can help each other feel less unusual.
  49. Anonymous January 10, 2015 at 8:18 pm #
    I love your blog!!!!!!! Your advice (or SIL's advice) is AMAZING!!!
  50. Sharon | Cheesy Pennies January 12, 2015 at 2:21 am #
    As someone on the other side of that tragically sad day, I can tell you that you will always be their mama, even when the little rolls of fat on their knees have turned to big rolls of the eye at your very existence. The journey seems breakneck and endless all at once, and it's so much fun to be able to relive the beginning through your eyes. Thank you for sharing.
  51. Annie Kruse January 12, 2015 at 8:20 am #
    You're A MA Z I N G Bev... but seriously you must have some help with them or your blog or both!? Maybe I skipped a paragraph or maybe there's part two, behind the scenes!? Love your openess. XO
  52. Molly @ Yes to Yolks January 12, 2015 at 1:08 pm #
    I love this post. Thank you for sharing! I think so many new moms, myself included, are scared to show how hard it really is. ESPECIALLY with breastfeeding! Before I gave birth, everyone kept telling me how much I would LOVE breastfeeding. Freaking liars. I hated it. Like, HATED IT. No one tells you how hard it is. Couple that with the "numb" feeling you describe, and man, it can get seriously depressing in new mom world. My baby is 3 months old, and I feel like he and I both just got the hang of things. I'm learning to let go (I am so type A) and just accept that life with kids is messy...and wonderful. Thanks again for sharing...it's an incredible journey! Keep those adorable baby pics coming! They are so precious.
  53. Brian @ A Thought For Food January 12, 2015 at 5:42 pm #
    You've survived!!! Well, year one. But yay! Go you! Like everyone else, I'm seriously impressed by your ability to maintain a sense of humor through it all.
  54. Melissa @ Treats With a Twist January 12, 2015 at 7:45 pm #
    I'm now just sobbing. Thank you. Thank you for saying all of these things. This sounds odd (maybe?) but reading your posts over the last year (plus pregnancy ones) has kept me so hopeful and positive.
  55. Tracy | PeanutButter and Onion January 13, 2015 at 6:01 am #
    I have no intentions of every doing the motherhood thing, I think your crazy wonderful and if I did accidentally pro create I would aspire to being a mother like you!
  56. Alison January 13, 2015 at 2:32 pm #
    I always wanted boy/girl twins. But I have four children, so I'll vicariously experience it with you. Motherhood is messy perfection, isn't it? You've wonderfully captured the graces and challenges of raising babies. And you are doing a fantastic job of mothering those two.
  57. Emily @ Life on Food January 13, 2015 at 5:40 pm #
    I am due in March with my first. Your daily photos are the cutest and make my heart melt.
  58. Nic G January 13, 2015 at 8:07 pm #
    How lovely! I have 8 month old g/g twins and I love watching your cuties who are a few months ahead of mine. The sleep thing - mine slept through the night at 12 weeks too! But are now going through a wicked sleep regression due to teething. Really they just want extra snuggles at 3 am :) motherhood - tough and wonderful!!
  59. Amanda S January 15, 2015 at 9:44 am #
    This is the first time I have ever commented (long time reader though!) and I wanted to say I have struggled with breastfeeding for over 4 months now, and it is an uphill battle every day. I enjoy nursing, but I do not make enough for my little guy so have to supplement. I knew it would be hard, but not like this. Your words "block out the voices" really resonated with me, as did your thoughts on feeling like a failure if you switched to formula. Thank you for that. And happiest of birthdays (a little late!) to your little loves!
  60. Laura B January 15, 2015 at 3:44 pm #
    I have a 2.5 month old and have followed you on Instagram but never took the leap to the blog. This post made me and boy am I glad I did. Not only was the first month or so just as you described (and by the way - why do so few moms own up to that happening?!!?), but I had to move to formula a few weeks ago and it was so hard for me, psychologically. I just felt like I was giving up after putting in such a mighty effort. But crying onto your kid's cheeks all day every day is no way for a mom and baby to live. Went to formula and never looked back! Thank you for this. Means so much to me.
  61. Cathy Stadler January 16, 2015 at 12:08 pm #
    you.are.awesome! haha! Happy Birthday to your babies! I love your sense of humor about this whole motherhood thing. I swear my second son has a hidden agenda to send me to the loo loo bin, but I'm powering through. I also couldn't breastfeed and to all you awesome moms out there that are using formula, be sure to buy an organic brand. There is so much garbage out there that the stores pass off as food and something as important as formula is NOT protected. So... read labels and get a good organic brand.
  62. Heather January 22, 2015 at 5:59 pm #
    I've got my 11 weeks twins sleeping on top of me right now so I finally have time to read here :) It's funny, everyone knows someone with twins but no one I know directly has twins, so I appreciate your insight and honesty. Thank you for the reminder to block out the voices!
  63. Kate January 23, 2015 at 9:18 am #
    I love reading your posts and watching your children grow. Thank you for this piece. It made me laugh and made me tear up and the whole time I was reading it I was nodding my head in agreement. We're doing a piece today of posts that have inspired us, and we included this one. I know it's no buzzfeed number nine. :-) Looking forward to what year 2 brings! http://twitchetts.blogspot.com/2015/01/sharing-little-blogger-love.html
  64. Jessica February 10, 2015 at 8:12 pm #
    Thank you for sharing your struggle to breastfeed. I had a similar issue and the switch to formula was agonizing but once we did, I felt like I wasn't just surviving, I was thriving as a mom. I was in so much pain from bf that I could hardly cuddle my guy and once my boobs stopped killing me, he could snuggle with me pain free! More women need to hear that they have choices and they are still great moms!
  65. stacy s February 15, 2015 at 7:56 am #
    i just found you. yeah, i did. through jessica (how sweet eats)....anyhoo. you're hysterical. and the whole twin thing. i get it. i have b/g twins - age 11. e.l.e.v.e.n! holy crap! it's the best. it's the most rewarding. it's suck butt-hole (yes, butt-hole) sometimes. but the love they give me and the laughter we share - it's da bomb. and i've been flying solo with them since they were 6. you are in for the ride of your life. cheers to you!
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  67. Hope June 11, 2016 at 12:13 am #
    My little guy will be 1 in 7 weeks. Its amazing how quick time flies. I took the opposite approach to baby sleeping and just put him back to bed after his second boob session of the evening (he will be up again in a few hours, im sure) and i have no plans to wean him. But i get the feelings you describe about getting through the first year. I started off scared and not knowing what i was doing. I quickly figured out no one knows how to do this instantly, you just kind of wing it and figure out what works for you.
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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Friday Faves - January 16, 2015 […] post on motherhood…not food related, but still so […]
  2. Inspiration from My Internet Wanders | Bourbon & Brown Sugar - January 18, 2015 […] it’s been decades since I was a new mom, but this incredible post on Bev Cooks took me right back… and I didn’t have […]
  3. Our Favorite Baby Products for Year One | Bev Cooks - March 12, 2015 […] Now, I didn’t breastfeed, as previously discussed, so I was all about finding good formula. And you know what, Target’s brand has the very same […]
  4. Sharing A Little Blogger Love | Twitchetts - May 22, 2015 […] The first post is from WorkingMomMagic.com.  This blogger has so many fun posts, but this one I made the same day. Using things most women have extra of lying around the houses. This fun fake makeup can keep your little ones happy for hours of imaginary play. They can pack it in their purses or keep it on their vanities. DIY Pretend Makeup The next post is from a series on MosswoodConnections.com.  This blogger has been so inspirational to me as I have been trying to purge from all of the clutter in my life. We have so much we don’t need. Our closets are packed with things I’m not sure we will ever use again… She has a refreshing way of talking about living a plentiful life without having sooo much stuff!! Plentiful Living with a Minimalist Approach to Life Bevcooks.com is a wonderful food blog.  And then she had twins.  Now it is a food blog that has the most adorable twins you will see. She posted a beautifully and hilariously written piece about her first year of motherhood that I really enjoyed.  Oh, and her instagram will put a smile on your face everyday.    Thoughts on this Whole Motherhood Business:Year One […]

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