Friday Flotsam

DECEMBER THE FIFTH TWO THOUSAND FOURTEEN. How!? Howhowhowhow?

So we have a Wimbley the Wonder Boy winner! But I’ll get to that in a second. I want to show you my awkward Santas that I wasn’t able to Snoopit due to my iphone pukey-duke. Which by the way, has since been fixed. Yay! But they had to restore it whiiiiich means wipe it clean. Lost everything. Photos, contacts, everything. It’s a freaking good thing I remembered to Aaron reminded me to back up my photos the day before it pooped out. So listen, if we text, send me a text so that I can re-save you. I am boring you to death, aren’t I?

So anyway, the Santas. (I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with them) But look, one doesn’t have a mouth, and the other, no face at all! Why am I attracted to this? What does this say about me? Don’t even think about closing out this window.

Okay, where are you with your Christmas shopping? I know we touched on this last week, but I need DETAILS, man. Give me percentages. A graph, a chart, anything. You know how I am with visual aids. Will you punch me in the face if I tell you I have four gifts left? Yeah, I got most of it done before our big trip to Mississipissispsispipii and Arkansas (recap next week!), so that I could drop most off and have an easy December. Becauuuuuuuse, I just booked another video! More to come on that.

You’re like, falling asleep.

My husband goes fossil hunting over his work lunches. As in, he looks for prehistoric bones in creeks and ditches. Hashtag NERD. I would have no clue how to fossil hunt. I see an old paper clip and think it belonged to Cleopatra. Anyway, yesterday he found this beautiful old tree stump on his hunt and brought it home for me. It’s about a foot tall, has a slanted top, probably coated in Ebola, but whatever. I just think it’s glorious! We have not a clue what we’ll do with it, since it’s slanted. Can’t hold our marbles! Ha aha hah ah a aaaaaa. I’ll keep you posted on where it ends up.

Like, I can hear your snores.

“It’s thaaaat tiiiiime of yeaaaaar when you move plants insiiiiiiide, every leaf you’re near seems to saaaaaay, ‘Good grief, woman, may your house be jungle-fiiiiiiiied. Aaand these roots of miiiine, watered aaaall the tiiiime, wishes you and youuuuurs the same thing, too.'”

Oh so you’re wishing me root rot?! Thanks a lot, MINT.

(I am so very weird.)

Annnnd in final news, our remodel is done! Finit. Completo. Done forever! Sort of. Now we want to paint the house and get a new roof, of course. All in good time (and when my wallet isn’t bawling).

In final final news, I think we’re going to take the babies to see mall Santa this weekend for photos. How hilarious does that sound? Oh man, you just wait, Henry Higgins.

In final final final news, the winner for the Wimbley the Wonder Boy book iiiiiiis ilona t who said, “i shop wherever is cheapest!” Thanks, ilona (check yo’ email!), and to everyone else who participated!

Next week will be fun. We’re going to the Shacks and eating meatballs. You dig? Fist bump? We could even do that hand explosion thing after we bump! No? Okay.