Hit Me Babies One More Time

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So, I’m seven weeks and one day into this whole being a mom thing, and I kind of can’t believe someone hasn’t yet locked me up and swallowed the key.

I have to say, we’ve definitely found our rhythm. I have my weekday rhythm. We have our weekend rhythm. And Charlie is clearly content with them cozy and comfortable in her sofa spo – wait is that foam in her mouth?

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No stuffed animals were harmed in the making of this blog post.

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Awww, look. Natalie learned her first gang sign.

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We play a lot of music ’round here. I serenade them with songs of Fleetwood Mac, Sarah McLachlan and the Sound of Music.

. . . Will’s going to be made fun of later in life, isn’t he?

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Speaking of, we also like to play a lot of games ’round here. One game we love is putting Will in this hilarious body suit thing I thrifted and pretending he has no ankles. Is this not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen?

Will has yet to fully appreciate this game.

Another one that we love is called “Nap with Possessed Winnie.”

Again, can’t quite get the babies to latch on to this one.

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So this is awesome. My longtime bestie, Laura surprised me with the most beautiful and thoughtful gift ever. I’d been planning on getting something exactly like this for a few weeks now, but you know, poopbarfpee.

Isn’t it just perfect? Simple. Timeless. Stunning.

If one of the babies even tries to yank this off my neck SO HELP ME GOD.

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Speaking of awesome, this.

Yeah, I just felt your ovaries body slam each other.

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Nat, “Mom, am I the turtle from the Neverending Story?”

Me, “Honey! His name is MORLA. And he’d say, ‘Are WE the turtle from the Neverending Story.’”

Will, “Snaaaaaaaap.”

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Here’s another fun game we like to play. It’s called Scare the Baby with the Red Thing.

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Oh! I made up a new dance. It’s called the Done Diaper Dance. It’s when you’ve just finished changing a dirty diaper, got the clean one on, dried the tears and saved all the baby pandas. I pretty much look like Beyoncé in All The Single Ladies. Except take out the words “Beyoncé in All The Single Ladies” and replace them with “Drunk Hunchback in All the Wasted Girls.”

It’s a workout, man!

Speaking of workouts, Aaron invited me to work out with him yesterday morning. My first official exercise in over a YEAR. He led us in 20 minutes of core strengthening with weights, followed by 20 minutes of yoga. And then I led us in 20 minutes of punching my yoga mat in the face.

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The thing is, we need to talk about kid music. Normally I don’t blast baby music because it makes me want to spend the night naked in a web of tarantulas. But recently I thrifted some old vintage records (Minus Annie. That’s my original from 1982! I was six years old and peed my face when my mom gave it to me for Christmas. I still listen to that album way, way more than I care to admit. “A hunger for the Argentyne? ArgenTINE.”)

So anyway, The Farmer in the Dell. Have you actually listened to the lyrics? It starts off all cute and a wee bit awkward about a farmer taking a wife, a wife taking a child, the child taking a nurse, la dee da. And then, just when you’re all hooked into this story about a mouse and cheese and whatever, it ends with “the knife stands alone.”

The knife stands alone? Why is the knife standing alone? Heigh-ho the derry-o WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE ELSE?

Why isn’t it back in the knife block? Why isn’t it at least in the sink being washed after being TAKEN BY THE CHEESE?

You can heigh-ho your derry-o right back to HELL.

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“Okay, I don’t care what you say, you have got to be Morla from the Neverending Story.”

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You would not believe the amount of barf that fell from these tiny little mouths right after this photo was taken.

Sweetest barf ever! Yes it is! Yeees it is!

(please don’t call Child Protective Services)

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The end.

As always, you can follow the daily monstrosities on Instagram. But remember to take your birth control.

The necklace

The vintage pink jumper

The Elephant Stuffie

The Bunny Stuffie

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50 Responses to Hit Me Babies One More Time

  1. Averie @ Averie Cooks February 25, 2014 at 3:06 am #

    Awesome post. You make me laugh, smile, and you amaze me! Bev you have things so under control. It’s…amazing! 7 weeks, with twins, and you’re just blogging, going for a workout, just totally easy-breezy! Wow!! And they are so stinking cute!!! :)

  2. Katie February 25, 2014 at 3:53 am #

    The joy’s of motherhood with
    Dirty diaper and barf.
    Fun time

  3. Jenn L @ Peas and Crayons February 25, 2014 at 4:32 am #

    THE KNIFE!? I thought the cheese stood alone!? Why don’t I remember sharp objects in that song from my childhood… I’m so none with these crazy disturbing kiddie songs. I’ll be tending to the hurricane just minding my own business and out of nowhere they keep popping in my head. Literally out of thin air. The other day it was Three Blind Mice. Um.. I had to google the second verse and about wet myself “they all ran after the farmer’s wife // who cut off their tails with a carving knife!” WHAT!? NO.

  4. DessertForTwo February 25, 2014 at 7:02 am #

    I found myself leaning in to read this post until my nose was almost touching the screen. I loooooove your babies updates. The last photo? Yeah, ovaries body slammed. Officially.

    • Kim d. February 26, 2014 at 8:23 am #

      What she said. Exactly.

  5. Julia February 25, 2014 at 7:08 am #

    Don’t give into baby music! We’ve only ever listened to legit stuff and my kids love it. Imagine Dragons are the 3 yr olds favorite. The 1 yr d was really soothed with classical music as a newborn.
    I love seeing your mommy adventures!

  6. Amy @Very Culinary February 25, 2014 at 8:14 am #

    We never used to play kid music for the babies either…UNTIL…until we discovered Justin Roberts. Pre-school teacher turned crazy musician. I dare you not to fall in love.

  7. Julie @ Table for Two February 25, 2014 at 8:20 am #

    I adore these baby posts and following you along on IG – so incredibly adorable. Seems like you’re getting the hang of this mom thing super well. Like you were made for it! Haha, you’re so happy all the time – best mom ever even when sleep deprived!!! So, I’ve been wondering..do Will + Nat like sleeping together? Is that kind of like a soothing thing for twins?

    • Bev Weidner February 26, 2014 at 8:06 am #

      I tend to think so! So far they seem to like it. Plus it’s getting really cute now that they are aware of each other. They just stare at each other and go, “lase woskdfj hfwhskf aaaahalhwl2er.” I think it means, “get off my side, bitch.”

  8. Emily @ Life on Food February 25, 2014 at 8:25 am #

    These babies are so adorable. Great post!

  9. Kay February 25, 2014 at 8:47 am #

    Girl….enjoying your life is what it is ALL about.
    Love your posts…
    Hugs

  10. Courtney @ Neighborfood February 25, 2014 at 8:50 am #

    My ovaries totally DID just chest bump each other. There is way too much adorable happening on this page. Maybe you actually need to post a picture of the puke next time…ya know, for birth control purposes.

  11. Dixya @ Food, Pleasure, and Health February 25, 2014 at 9:01 am #

    too adorable. your posts always makes me smile.

  12. Brianne Hillman February 25, 2014 at 9:08 am #

    I’m a mother of a 6 year old and 4 year old twins and also run a FB twins group in the KC area.

  13. Jen February 25, 2014 at 9:41 am #

    Natalie’s first gang sign…Best. Pic. Ever. Love your sense of humor!!

  14. Katriel February 25, 2014 at 9:45 am #

    Love these baby posts!! Thanks for sharing!

  15. Kiran @ KiranTarun.com February 25, 2014 at 9:47 am #

    The cutest twins and post, ever!!!

  16. Tracy | Peanut Butter and Onion February 25, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    I don’t have kids, but you sound like super women

  17. Heather @ French Press February 25, 2014 at 9:55 am #

    seriously, you are simply amazing! I’ve been a parent for like a million years,and still don’t feel like i have my shit together most days

  18. Gina February 25, 2014 at 9:55 am #

    If you don’t stop that cuteness I will get pregnant. Seriously.

  19. Joanna February 25, 2014 at 10:23 am #

    Could you be any funnier? Probably not. Babes are precious, fun post, keep the cuteness coming!

  20. Jenna February 25, 2014 at 10:25 am #

    If you really want to get freaked out by a children’s song, pay close attention to the lyrics from Little Bunny FooFoo. I banned that one after realizing Little Bunny is a serial killer of mice.

  21. Mary @ The Kitchen Paper February 25, 2014 at 11:37 am #

    Again, you have me dying from laughter.

    “Yeah, I just felt your ovaries body slam each other.” WHO SAYS THAT!?!? You, and you say it oh so well!!

    Keep up the hilarity, Bev!

  22. paul mercer February 25, 2014 at 11:47 am #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cOT4T2jDho

  23. Alannah February 25, 2014 at 12:06 pm #

    PLEASE let me know when you bring these babies to Arkansas. I want to squeeze and love on them!

    You make it look effortless, Bev. I know it’s not – but that’s a testament to your skill!

    Love them, love you….I’ll never get sick of looking at your pics!

    • Bev Weidner February 25, 2014 at 12:10 pm #

      Alannah! We’ll be down mid-April. I’ll definitely get in touch!

  24. Molly @Doughvelopment February 25, 2014 at 12:19 pm #

    They’re adorable! This post def brought a smile to my face!
    I love the necklace, simple yet it means so much!

  25. Heather || Heather's Dish February 25, 2014 at 12:21 pm #

    Ovaries punching. CHECK.

  26. Melanie February 25, 2014 at 1:03 pm #

    Thank you for making me laugh and smile for the first time all day. You know, because I told my daughters I was going to find them a new family for the rough morning I endured before taking them to school.

    Surely your babies will never act in such a way…

  27. Jess @ The Dreaming Foodie February 25, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

    Bev, I love you blog! I have been a longtime follower, and I love seeing these posts about how you, Will and Natalie are doing! I have a question! What kind of record player do you have? And do you love it? Thank you Bev!

  28. Melissa @ Treats With a Twist February 25, 2014 at 2:53 pm #

    I can’t stop laughing! Your sense of humor has got to be saving you right now. Love these posts!

  29. Jennie @themessybakerblog February 25, 2014 at 2:57 pm #

    As always, I love your posts. I’m always guaranteed a laugh when I come here. That knife thing is a bit disconcerting. Those cute little faces make my heart melt.

  30. Terry Covington February 25, 2014 at 8:16 pm #

    DO get this baby/kid/timeless music: “Peter, Paul, and Mommy,” by Peter, Paul, and Mary. You can find it on Amazon. My 3 daughters and I danced to it, sang to it, loved it. And wonderful that you can serenade them yourself! Also, okay, yes, I am old, but Mr. Rogers had this song, if you can find it and learn it — “It’s You I Like.” It has the best lyrics in the universe about being loved just for who you are. (It’s you I like, every part of you, your skin, your eyes, your feelings, whether old or new. . . .)

  31. Tiff February 25, 2014 at 10:16 pm #

    My ovaries are so hard-hearted that I chose not to reproduce, but I do know that parents LOVE Caspar Babypants who’s a local Seattle dude that I want to high school with. Check him out. (and I love your blog and baby pics so much, despite my cobwebbed reproductive system)

  32. Sharon February 26, 2014 at 2:53 am #

    As the mom of two teenagers, with ovaries so dormant that pink onesies are dead to me, I have to say that humor is the absolute best way to parent, and you seem to be nailing it. Plus, your babies are obviously brilliant because that red thing is frigging terrifying.

  33. Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli February 26, 2014 at 6:09 am #

    My friend Melissa shared this post with me (she’s a few people up ^ there, haaaaay gurl! ;)) and seriously, this just made my day! You have to know that I am SOOOO glad I just read this in a room alone…thankfully not the one with that sinister knife, but still…because I just snorted for like the first time in my LIFE! And then I did it AGAIN…actually I’m pretty sure I sounded like I was having a seizure midway through this post! Oh I am so sharing this with my mom! She’ll die!

    Thanks for the ab workout…and ovary stretch! ;)

  34. Amy February 26, 2014 at 8:04 am #

    Hilarious! I stumbled across your blog last week and I am so grateful that I did! Thank you for the laughs! I am a stay-at-home Mama to 2 year old b/g twins! What a ride! Pretty positive this is why wine was invented. Someone was a twin Mom! xo

  35. Jennifer @ Mother Thyme February 26, 2014 at 10:11 am #

    They are sooo cute!! I love reading these posts. Twins are the best! :)

  36. Stefanie @ Sarcastic Cooking February 26, 2014 at 3:47 pm #

    Ok. Would you rather deal with cleaning up poop or spit up? I am poop all the way. I hate spit up! Also you must check out Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star. It is rock songs and rap songs and pop songs in lullaby form. It is wordless, just music. It is great. It also turns out to be a fun game between parents to try and guess what the song is before you get to the chorus! This game may or may not involve betting sips of wine too!

  37. Wendy February 27, 2014 at 12:11 am #

    I love reading these posts because it helps me feel not alone in this crazy, wild world that is motherhood!! Keep up the great work!

  38. Lindsay @ The Live-In Kitchen February 27, 2014 at 2:21 pm #

    OMG the cuddling!!! I love seeing them sleep together. That picture of the three of you at the end is the sweetest thing ever, I’m sure you will cherish it forever. Congrats on finding your rhythm, I can’t imagine how chaotic twins must be.

  39. Rachel - De Ma Cuisine February 28, 2014 at 2:16 pm #

    You are pretty much the funniest ever.

  40. BeverlyH February 28, 2014 at 4:26 pm #

    I enjoy reading your posts – glad I found your blog. Not only for the yummy recipes but following the baby posts! Ahh…brings back memories of raising my boy/girl twins (now 20 years old)….Now it’s all about sending them off to college and missing them more than imagined when they are 6 hours away and I cannot tuck them in every night. Enjoy your cuties every minute as time really does go as fast as everyone says… And yes wine was invented for moms!

  41. Kate March 5, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

    Bev! You crack me up. I love catching up with your instagram feed, too. Makes me giggle. I tell all my friends to follow you.

  42. Nutmeg Nanny March 7, 2014 at 12:36 pm #

    Bev, you are too funny! I love reading lyrics to lullabies, they are usually so odd and creepy! Beautiful babies and I adore the necklace!

  43. Heather March 12, 2014 at 8:06 am #

    So cute!

    I just wanted to pass along my friend’s baking with kids idea.

    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/67767435/bakers-passport-kids-bake-and-learn-a-new-language

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