Easy Faux Chocolate Crème Brûlée

Do you even want to know how long it took me to figure out how to type those little accent thingies?

Only like 5 seconds because I just copy and pasted it from the interflex. HA-BIGGIDY.

Alrighty, this post is obviously way less about a recipe, and more about . . .  A SWELL TIME, DANGIT. Sorry I keep screaming at you. These things can’t be helped.

The truth of the matter of the heartbreak hotel is, we all need crème brûlée from time to time (all the time). And at the risk of sounding like a total dil-binger, ain’t nobody got time for dat! (please tell me you’ve seen that.) (i just think it’s so funny!) (are you tired of me talking to you in parentheses?) (I can stop at anytime.) (I can!)

So basically, what you do is, pick up a little boxy box of your fave instant pudding. And I’m talking instant instant, not that cooking and chilling for 36 years b.s.

So you whip it all, la dee da, and then spoon it into little jars, voilee la, and THEN, this is where it gets brulee-y. Hold on I need to re-paste that word. Brûlée-y. You sprinkle some good turbinado sugar on top. (Which is just sugar with a turban on it. I’m just kidding.) Throw her under the broiler (or if you have one of those cool torches, do that! I was just positive I was going to burn my house down and my hair off, so a broiling I went.) for about 5 minutes and (I just had to interject here because I felt like one more good parentheses pause.), garnish it with fresh berries, some pecan pieces and (what would you think about one more?) powdered sugar and hoooooooooolllla.back.

If you have kids, they’ll fall in serious love. If you don’t, even better! More for you.

Screw the brûlée. Oh! Scrûlée.

Git it.

Easy Faux Chocolate Crème Brûlée:

What it took for 4 little jars (1/2 cup servings):

* 1 (3.9 oz) box instant chocolate pudding (I used chocolate fudge even! omg)
* 2 cups cold milk
* 2-4 Tbs. sugar in the raw (turbinado)
* blueberries, pecan pieces and a dusting of powdered sugar for garnish

In a mixing bowl, combine the pudding mix and cold milk. Whisk a couple of minutes until it sets. Taste it. Taste it again. Taste it one more time to make sure they did it right. Tast – I’m just kidding.

After about 5 minutes of letting it sit, spoon the mixture into little jars. Sprinkle liberally with the sugar to create a little coating on top.

Place the jars on a baking sheet and stick her under the broiler for about 5 minutes, until the sugar is bubbly and caramelizing.

Now, stick the tray in the fridge another 10 minutes, until the sugars harden and create that layer that you want to tap through, just like in Amelie.

Garnish with blueberries, pecan pieces and a pretty dusting of powdered sugar.

(okay bye.)