You know how when you get chills little bumps raise up all over your skin? “Goosies” as J-Lo calls them? Okay, when I get the chills, they raise up in little patches. And ONLY on my left arm. Like, random little goosie patches. My right arm is completely normal, chill bumps performing gorgeously in an even and expected manner. But my left arm? Wonk-a-lonk. And it feels really weird and tickle-y. Am I going to die?
Speaking of left arms, today we’re eating butter. OH YAYESS I DEEYID, Y’ALL.
But butter loaded with an entire head of roasted garlic and lemon juice and zest and I’m pretty sure there’s some unicorn nectar in there. It’s pretty sick. And you need it. Here you go.
Hawd on, hawd on, hawd on. You can’t just go around waving the stick of butter in the air like a wand, twirling around in your living room like a sparkly fairy, mid-song, lightly touching little things here and there, hoping for magical dreams to just unfold and come true for you. You can’t do that!
…because I already tried and it doesn’t work.
But you can use it in this ridiculously incredible, creamy, lemony risotto that will basically have you speaking in tongues.
Just don’t wear socks because they’ll just get KNOCKED OFF, OHHHHHH.
That was probably the worst joke I’ve ever made in my life. Aw, I’m so proud of myself!