Watermelon Spritzers with Lemon and Honey

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I know. Just laugh it out now and you’ll feel better.

I just figured, if I can’t beat . . . myself, join . . . myself?  Wait, that’s not it. When I figure out how it goes, I’ll get back to you.

But guess who was pleasantly surprised with the refreshing beverage of the non-adult variety? And guess who can’t wait to add the adult part back into these refreshing beverages once this blasted detox ends? And guess who wants you to make either version this weekend for your Memorial day relaxation and grilling parties so that you TOO can be refreshed beyond the lands of times and back again, times 50?

 

That answer would be me. I had you so tricked.

I drank almost the entire pitcher of these yesterday afternoon and evening, and when my husband walked through the door he said to me, complete with rockin’ out jiggly fingers,  “You’re BUZZED ON LIIIEEEEFFFFFF.” I asked him not to say it that way again. Ever.

But you guys, he was right.

See those bloomin’ seeds? When I BOUGHT the lemons the sign said, “seedless lemons.” Do these look like seedless lemons to you? Do I need new glasses? Actually I do and I want to discuss that with you at some point because I’ve had the same sort of black cat-eye looking glasses for y-e-a-r-s and I’m thinking of going a new route. Mine are scratched all to hayell and they actually sit crooked on my face because SOMEONE sat on them a while back. They’d still be on the sexy/nerdy side, but maybe a brown frame? Like dark brown, not freaky light brown, and maaaaybe a tiny design in them, but nothing too obnoxious and I said at some point not right now, didn’t I?

Speaking of seedless, can you believe Charlie Sheen has yet ANOTHER show coming out? I thought he was in prison or Canada or something.

Also, if you can find seedless watermelon, WORD UP. Since my melons (heheheheh) and lemons had seeds in them, after I processed it together, I strained all the liquid into a huge bowl so that it would catch any seeds and nasty pulp trying to make its way into your refreshing drink. So, you can skip this step if you find the seedless business.

Then you pour it into a large pitcher until you’re ready to consume this virginal, sinless treat that won’t send you to hell!

But don’t forget about the splash of fizzy seltzer water into it right before you proceed with the consuming.

 

Garnish with lemon balm or mint or vodka or rum. I WAS TALKING ABOUT THEIR LEAVES. Rum and vodka leaves. Geez.

Okay not even for a second.

Watermelon Spritzers with Lemon and Honey:

What it took for about 6 cups:

* 2.5 pounds fresh watermelon (seedless if you can get it)
* 3 lemons (seedless if you can find them), for the juice
* 2 Tbs. honey
* 1 cup chilled seltzer (more or less)
* lemon balm, for garnish (totally optional. mint is fine too!)

Place the watermelon, lemon juice and honey in a food processor. Process until smooth.

Strain into a large bowl, pressing the juice out of any seeds or pulp that remains.

Pour into a large pitcher and chill until you’re ready to drink.

Serve with a splash of seltzer and lemon balm or mint, if using.

*add alcohol, for the love.

 

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42 Responses to Watermelon Spritzers with Lemon and Honey

  1. Maria May 25, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

    I am going to drink these all summer long!

  2. Jenny May 25, 2012 at 1:21 pm #

    Beautiful pictures…stellar. Especially the Honey……….
    This had me laughing, really it did!!

    Detox, smeepox……..I’m having a glass of wine tonight in your honor!! hee hee

    Glasses…..yes Brown frames and you can pull off any style.

  3. sarah May 25, 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    These look so refreshing and wonderful. I love watermelon beverages. Mmmm.

  4. Villy @ For the love of Feeding May 25, 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    It’s so hot here, I’d love one or two of these!

  5. Miss @ Miss in the Kitchen May 25, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    I bought a watermelon yesterday just so I could make something similar. I was thinking of adding booze, I like the lemons that you added. Very pretty and refreshing!

  6. Kristen May 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Oh yeah – what a fab drink!

  7. Rebecca May 25, 2012 at 1:35 pm #

    I would drink a whole pitcher of this, too. Now all I have to do is find a watermelon that doesn’t cost as much as my mortgage payment here. I’m not kidding. The stores are full of these little, tiny, adorable, EXPENSIVE things they’re billing as “Personal Watermelons”. Can someone please tell me what the heck a personal watermelon is?

  8. Ali @ Gimme Some Oven May 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

    Ha! I’ve had the same thing with seedless lemons. Holy moly, these look delicious!

  9. Georgia @ The Comfort of Cooking May 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    Come to mama!

  10. Kelsey May 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

    Yum yum yummy! These sound awesome Bev. Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend and good luck with the rest of the detox!

  11. Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar May 25, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    I loooove me a spritzer! Yum!

  12. Kathryn May 25, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    I dream about seedless lemons.

  13. brandi May 25, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

    definitely making these once i can get good watermelon around here.

  14. Caroline @ chocolate & carrots May 25, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

    How refreshing! :D Absolutely perfect for summer. Mmm! I can’t wait!

  15. Cassie May 25, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    These are fun! I made a summery non-adult drink this week too, and then consumed the whole batch all by myself. No shame.

  16. Gen May 25, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

    looks so, so delicious!!! fresh and summery!

  17. Tracey May 25, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    LOVE it!

  18. Averie @ Averie Cooks May 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

    Is it 5’o clock somewhere yet? Looks PERFECT!

  19. Ashley @ Hudson on the Potomac May 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    So summery!!! Love it!!!

  20. Deanna B. May 25, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

    I have 1/2 a watermelon that needs to be used. Unfortunately it looks like its going to rain so I might have to hold out till next week.

  21. Heather {ModernMealsforTwo} May 25, 2012 at 5:56 pm #

    Oh man. I almost feel bad for you, but if you’re high on life over there I think you’re doing alright ;) Good luck with your Memorial Day detox.

  22. Vita @ Juicer Depot May 25, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

    I am buying a watermelon this weekend for sure. It is going to be a great Memorial Day weekend.

  23. DessertForTwo May 25, 2012 at 8:09 pm #

    A few things (as always) ((Plus, I know you look forward to my listing of comments on each of your posts)) (((Don’t lie, you know you do)))

    1. I so need new glasses too. Totally rocking the indie rock glasses from college still. At least I only wear them at night…wouldn’t want to scare the day people!
    2. To my farmer knowledge, seedless lemons don’t exist yet. I don’t work in the citrus business, but if a fruit in that family had seedless potential, I think I would know about it. They require bee boxes on the sides of the orchards to pollinate the flowers. No pollination = no fruit. So bottom line, you should probably punch the nearest grocery store clerk for lying to you. Ok, now everyone is going to google ‘seedless lemons’ to tell me I’m wrong, but PEOPLE, LISTEN, I’m talking about large-scale production. Not some small pot you can buy at the garden center.
    3. I like things with the name spritzer. I think it makes me fancy.
    4. I feel like there should be a #4 but there’s really not. I like you :)

  24. dominik mj • opinionated alchemist May 26, 2012 at 12:25 am #

    I have to admit, I hate to work with watermelon!

    Why? Drinks become watery [yeah I know... watermelon], juice taste watery [...] and flat and tannin’y [because of the blended / extracted seeds].

    I came up with the solution, to use a food mill, to get juice out of a watermelon. Great idea and it sounds so easy – but you know how much work this is???

    If you have the juice, the rest is rather easy: using fructose, is even intensify the fruit aromas and using citric acid [lemon salt] does the same with a zing! And then you can use it for your wine, or gin, or rum.

    Did I mention, how much work it is, to make watermelon juice in a food mill???

  25. Natalie @ Cooking for My Kids May 26, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    I could totally go for one of these right about now.

  26. Katie May 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

    Oooh heeeck yes. That picture of the honey makes me feel all drippy and delicious.

  27. Chung-Ah | Damn Delicious May 28, 2012 at 5:31 am #

    This looks so refreshing! Okay I need to go to the grocery store right now to get some watermelon.

  28. Karen (Back Road Journal) May 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

    This sounds like a great drink for this summer. I can see it putting a smile on every face that tries it.

  29. kale May 29, 2012 at 3:52 am #

    Stop it. Just, stop it with the gorgeous photos already! You should not be wooing me. I am a married woman!

  30. Erin @ Dinners, Dishes, and Desserts May 30, 2012 at 1:30 am #

    Yum!! Funny, I made an alcohol free watermelon drink on Friday too!

  31. Ashley - BakerbyNature May 31, 2012 at 3:04 am #

    It is like 500 ba-jillion degrees in my apartment right now… I need 37 of these,please!

  32. Deborah June 1, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

    Love this for summer!!

  33. Heidi @ Bits of Sunshine June 6, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    Your post had me in stiches! :) I really enjoyed reading it! SEEDED seedless fruit! Just cracks me up! This looks yum! I really do love watermelon! Summer has just passed here, so i will have to wait a bit to try this out! But its on my list of stuff to try!

  34. anju June 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

    funny eyeglasses part of your post :)
    love both melons ( he hehe) and lemons
    am gonna make this drink for sure

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