There is absolutely no way I can prepare you for what you’re about to read over on the Tablespoon.
I just need you to sit down, clear a spot in your mind for never ending confusion and clear a spot in your throat for never ending WHAAAAAAAAATS.
If you’re an old friend of mine or even a current one, I . . . you . . . I . . . you’ve been warned.
I’m nervous. Alright, here goes. One…two…..THREE.
OKAY CHECK YOUR PULSE. I can’t be held responsible for fatalities today. I already have to wash my hair.
Once you can find your eyelids that are probably still pressed into the back of your skull, (sick?) I have something else to show you. Something that doesn’t involve a jack hammer and a crow bar to the nervous system.
Bread braid! Braided bread. Broccoli bread braid. Broccoli braided bread. Broccoli breaded braid. Brocc–OW! Really, that neck hook ain’t cool, duder.
That’s broccoli in there! Oh, right I already said that. Come and braid with me?
*If your heart rate has not settled back down to its normal beat, please check with your local doctor and then let me know, because I’m willing to wash my hair tomorrow. Thank you and I’m sorry.*